


Nothing but a Note

by adult_disneyprincess (orphan_account)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Cheating Derek, Derek is Twat Waffle, Derek is a Failwolf, M/M, Sheriff Stilinski is a Good Parent, Stiles gets a new Alpha, Tattooed Stiles, badass stiles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-25
Updated: 2014-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-18 18:16:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2357552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/adult_disneyprincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles leaves Beacon Hills.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It started out as a lot of little things, Stiles decides. When he thinks back he should have noticed how Derek would start holding pack meeting without telling him or how he wouldn’t ask Stiles to do research for him. Those things didn’t really bother him the first time it happened, but after a while he took notice.

            Stiles thinks maybe it has to do with the strange relationship he has with resident Alpha Derek Hale. They aren’t together, but they’re too close to just be friends. By close, Stiles means that they are well aware of each other in the biblical sense. Their relationship had too much emotions to just be a friends with benefits, or Alpha with benefits, kind of thing. He didn’t need validation of their relationship status from Derek, Stiles felt like they had a quiet understanding, but a name for them would be great.

            When he brings up how he was left out of the meeting to Derek, he isn’t too surprised when Derek waves him away like Stiles himself is expecting too much. Stiles opens his mouth to protest but soon there’s a tongue in mouth, and a hand down his pants so he guesses this conversation can wait.

            The next time it happens, Stiles is a little perturbed. He wants to be kept up to date, and he hates getting his information second hand from Scott. As much as he platonically loves Scott, Stiles is sure they didn’t just talk about nothing in the meetings.

            The next thing that happens is that he rarely sees the pack anymore. They used to come by at least every other day, and Stiles would help them with homework or anything else they needed. Once he even did some of Isaac’s laundry for him. It really does begin to bother Stiles, but he keeps his chin up. He is positive this is just a phase until he sees Scott next day and he has a thin, pink line on his forehead that looks like it has been healing for a while. When he asked Scott, the werewolf just tells him the pack had trouble with some visitor thinking the Hale land was theirs, and Stiles just backs away slowly to his jeep.

            Stiles marches, or drives angrily, to the Hale house to confront Derek, and that’s when the last straw happens. Stiles enters the house, and marches to Derek’s bedroom where he suspects he’ll be, Derek likes to sleep during the day while the rest of the pack is at work or college. Stiles walks directly into the bedroom where he freezes.

            Derek is not alone in bed.

            Looking back he isn’t sure how he didn’t hear the woman earlier because she certainly is vocal, and he almost isn’t sure its Derek until he see the tattoo. Stiles feels the grief and betrayal that cuts him to his core, and he slowly backs from the room because he figures Derek is a little too busy to notice him come in or leave. He gets to his jeep and out of the Hale property before the tears flow down, and really he thinks, he should have seen this coming.

 

****

            Stiles makes it home and too his room before he is totally broken down. He comes to the conclusion that Derek really doesn’t care about him the same way Stiles does. He realizes that none of the pack care for him like he does for them. Stiles paces his room for about five minutes thinking what he is going to do when the idea comes to him.

            He is going to leave.

            Stiles grabs a bag and throws a few pairs of jeans and some shirts. He grabs his grandfather’s watch to put in the bag before writing a note to his father. Stiles knows his Dad will be heartbroken, but selfish as it sounds, Stiles needs to leave this town. He is eighteen, he could have left at any point but he stayed. He stayed for a pack he wasn’t even part of.

            Stiles writes his father telling him he’ll call when he gets where he is going as long as he doesn’t tell anyone else. He isn’t stupid, he knows that Derek will try to come after him, Derek is possessive about Stiles but apparently all Stiles is to him is a possession that he could use as he pleases.  He leaves his phone to weight down the note, the only number he has ever remember was his Dad’s, and he drives to the bank. He cashes out his college fund which gives him thousands of dollar to run away with, he thanks the teller, and he leaves.

****

            Stiles drives.

            He drives until he is tired, stops for a cheap hotel, then just keeps driving. Stiles begins wondering if his father has found his note, or if Derek knows he is gone. He mulls all of this over while he drives to no music.

            Stiles drives for about three days before he stops in a tiny coastal town of Maine by the name of Sawyer. It is smaller than Beacon Hills, and for the first time in a while, Stiles can breathe a little bit better. He buys a prepaid cell phone from a gas station and dials his father’s number by heart. 

            “Hello?” A tired voice greets, and Stiles feels a pang of guilt in his heart. He almost debates hanging up, but he figures it’s better to let his Dad know he is okay.

            “Hey, Daddy-O.” Stiles says, and an unsettling silence on the other lines greets him. His father doesn’t say anything for a while, and Stiles almost thinks his father hung up on him. He hears heavy breathing  on the other end of the phone, and he knows what is going to come next is not going to be pretty.

            “Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?” John says, his voice is calm but it is like the soothing air before a storm. Stiles isn’t sure if his father wants an actual answer or if he is asking rhetorical questions.

            “I know, Dad.” Stiles begins to say as he leans his head against the steering wheel.

            “Shut up. You left in the middle of the day while I was at work with nothing but a note left on your desk.” John yells, and Stiles flinches. He knew his father wasn’t going to take it well, but as long as his father doesn’t use his real name then he thinks he’ll be fine. “What the hell happened, Hezekiah?” John yells, and oh, that his real name and this is not going well.

            “Did you read the note?” Stiles says, and he really didn’t mean for it to come out that. John doesn’t say anything, and Stiles knows he has over stepped every boundary.

            “Who are you?” John just says, and Stiles feels like he has just lost the last person in his life.

            “I’m your son.” Stiles says, and he wipes his eyes with his hand. “I’ll call you later.” Stiles promises, and with that he hangs up before his father can say anything. He knows leaving a note was stupid, leaving his phone was stupid, but he didn’t want anyone finding him. Stiles stares at his phone for about an hour before he finally pulls out of the gas station and goes in search of a hotel.  

***                                                          

            Stiles is in Sawyer about a week before he find a place to call home. It is a small apartment just down the street from a bookstore where he gets a job. He has plenty of his college tuition left, but he is thinking about in enrolling at the local community college in the new semester. Stiles makes a mentally note to call his dad later to see if he left any important documents back in Beacon Hills he might need to apply.

            He is there about a month when he meets his neighbor. Her name is Ellie Goldski and Stiles calls her Ms. G. Stiles meets her by accident when he is running late for his shift at the bookstore, and she is struggling up the stairs with an armful of bags. He automatically goes to help her, and she invites him in for tea. He politely declines saying he is late for work, and she all but demands that he stop back by on his way home.

            His shift is over quickly, and he heads back to his lonely, tiny apartment. He is putting the keys in the door when Ms. Goldski comes into the hall.

            “Young man, I believe I asked you to dinner.” She says, and Stiles has to smile at her because her white hair is perfectly styled this late in the evening but she is a dress gown like she is ready for bed.

            “Let me freshen up, Ms. G.” He tells her, and she sternly nods.

            The pair begin an unlikely friendship. She tells Stiles about growing up in the fifties, and that she has no family left since her husband dies. Stiles tells her about leaving, he doesn’t mention werewolves, and she doesn’t seem the least bit bothered when she learns about his and Derek’s past. Stiles doesn’t say his name, but Ellie gets the picture. At the end of the evening, she makes Stiles promises to visit her soon.

****

            Stiles is in Sawyer almost two months when he begins to think that someone is following him. He first notices it when he goes to the local coffee shop he now frequents every day, and he catches a young man only a few years older than himself staring at him from afar. He brushes it off, no one knows him here, he gets his coffee and leaves.

            He should have known that something was going to go wrong eventually, Stiles just didn’t excepted to get kidnapped. Again. It happens as he is walking down the street he has headphones in, but he hasn’t listened to music in a while. One second is he minding his own business, the next there’s a bag over his head, and he losses consciousness.

            When he comes to he is laying on a floor, and there is the same man from the coffee shop. “Shit.” Stiles mutters, pushing himself off the ground. The man grins at him, and Stiles notices that they’re four other people and they are all younger than him. The man holds his hand out, but Stiles struggles to his feet on his own. “What the fuck?” He hisses.

            “Why do you smell like another Alpha?” The man questions, and Stiles frowns because he has been gone for about seven weeks he shouldn’t still smell like Derek. Stiles raises his eyebrow, and he debates trying to lie but he knows that these are werewolves and they’ll catch him.

            “I don’t know you’re talking about, dude.” Stiles tries anyway, and like déjà vu, he is being slammed against the wall. He doesn’t even flinch when his back makes contact; instead, he pushes the young man away from him with a loud snarl. “Don’t fucking touch me! I didn’t stop being an Alpha’s bitch just being another one. So you and your ragtag band of adolescents can leave me the fuck out of your werewolf supernatural shit.” Stiles snarls, and the Alpha looks stunned.

            “Fair enough, but you must join me and my pack if we ever need you too.” The Alpha insists, and Stiles laughs.

            “Did you not hear me? I am done with supernatural shit!” Stiles says, waving his arm in the air.

            “I didn’t say you had to do anything. I want a human in my pack for reasons, and since you already know everything it would be a great choice to pick you.” The alpha says, and Stiles just rubs his face.

            “Why me?” He wonders out loud, and the Alpha just grins.

            “Because you smell nice. Like flowers. It’s a peaceful aroma. I am Daniel by the way.” Daniel says, and Stiles just waves him away. The rest of Daniel’s pack is watching him carefully like they don’t know how to handle the situation. “That is Victoria, Jason, Emmett, and Damian.” Daniel introduces the rest of his pack. Stiles just waves his greetings. He doesn’t stay long in that pack house, but the pack begins training and he is hit with a wave of familiarity that crushes him.

            Stiles tells Daniel is willing to help him as long as he is considered pack and he can leave when he wants, and Daniel tells him that that is what he meant when he asked Stiles to join him. Stiles walks out of the house feeling a little bit better about leaving Beacon Hills.

****

            Stiles is in Sawyer about a year when he begins changing. He is tired of looking like the Stiles Stilinski that was rejected by Derek Hale and doesn’t have a place anywhere even in the small town he grew up in.

            He gets tattoos.

            He gets a lot of tattoos, and his eyebrow pierced for good measure. Stiles also starts running every day, and boxing. His tattoos have no stories except one. The only one he though through was the one he got to dedicate his father and mother. He gets their wedding date, birthdays, and names on his left shoulder blade. His arms are both covered with black design patterns, his stomach covered with quotes from Shakespeare to the Bible, and everywhere he just gets the sudden urge to ink.

            Stiles gets tattoos until he no longer recognize the young man in the mirror then he shaves the side of his head leaving some on top to style up. Ellie shakes her head when he shows her his tattoos when he gets them, but doesn’t say because as long as Stiles is happy she doesn’t really care.

            His boss at the bookstore makes him manager even with his now punkish appearance, and Stiles is delighted. He talks to his father at least once a week, and Daniel drops by his place weekly. He is the leader of the pack meetings, the pups actually listen to him, and Daniel relies on him for research.  

*****

He doesn’t go home for Christmas.

*****

            John calls him one day out of the blue near the holiday season again just when Stiles is getting home. Stiles stares at the phone he has had for almost two years now, and he answers with a hello.

            “I want to know where you are, Stiles. It has been two years since I’ve seen you face to face. How can you possibly think this is okay?!” John yells, and Stiles is speechless. Every phone call he has had with his father, Stiles got the impression that his Dad had reluctantly excepted that Stiles wasn’t coming back to Beacon Hills.

            “Maine. I’m in Maine.” Stiles admits, and John exhales slowly. “You could come visit me at Christmas, I’ll give you the address.” Stiles whisper, and he really doesn’t want to share that information but he misses his father so much. He hears his father take several deep breathes, and Stiles shifts uneasily on his feet in anticipation.

            “Okay. Just tell me the address.” John all but begs, and Stiles feels his resolve crumble. He texts the address, he makes his Dad promise to keep it to himself, and he goes to bed but doesn’t sleep.

*****

            Stiles finds himself actually looking forward to Christmas. He promises Ms. G that he will come over on Christmas Eve to introduce his father to her.

            He is nervously pacing the ground in his apartment hours before he has to go to the airport to pick up his father. Stiles finally calms down enough to get his keys, and drive the Jeep to pick up his father.

            When he sees his Dad looking lost in the terminal, he feels his bottom lip tremble. Stiles runs, no sprints, through the crowd to hug his father. When he makes contact with the warm body of his father, he leans all his weight on the older man. John jumps in shock at the sudden weight holding him, and he sees tattoos arms around him. John pushes him back to look at him.

            “You call me every week and not once did you tell me about the tattoos?” John accuses, but his voice is light so Stiles knows he is teasing. Stiles giggles and holds his father tighter.

            “Let’s go to my apartment.” Stiles says. They are getting weird looks from the people in the terminal.

            They make it back to Stiles apartment, and somehow Daniel has managed to get in and he is taking a nap on Stiles couch. Stiles has to awkwardly introduce him to his father. He catches the eyebrow raise from his father, and he knows as soon as he kicks out Daniel there is going to be a lot of awkward questions.

            Unsurprisingly, John does bring up Daniel. “So the man on your couch?” John says over dinner, and Stiles chokes on his chicken.

            “Just a friend Dad. Just a friend.” Stiles promises, and John nods. They eat the rest of their dinner in comfortable silence, and while they are putting up the Christmas tree Stiles begins crying.

            He cries loud and hard as his father patiently holds him.

            “I’m so sorry I hurt you.” Stiles whimpers, and John just hushes him. John promises him he isn’t hurt or angry anymore, that he understands why Stiles left even though he doesn’t. John just holds his only son as he cries.

            They exchange gifts the next day, and Stiles tells his father why he left. He tells him the affair between himself and Derek, he tells about the woman, and he tells about the neglect from the others.

            John listens.

            He listens, and he doesn’t say anything until Stiles is done. John feels a huge weight off his chest, after two years he knows why his son left his childhood home. He tells Stiles that everything will work out, Stiles snorts, and he just holds Stiles until he falls asleep.

            John stays in Maine with Stiles for a week before going home.

****

            It is after New Year’s when Stiles is in the bookstore by himself when he hears the doorbell chime while he is stacking books on the top shelf. “Hello welcome to Diana’s Books, let me know if you need help finding anything.” Stiles calls his custom greeting from atop the ladder he is standing on.

            “I’m looking for an old friend.” He hears, and he drops the book he is holding. Stiles knows that voice. It is the same voice that is stuck in his head for years. The same voice that tells him he isn’t good enough in his nightmares.

            Derek.

            “Sorry, buddy, I just sell books.” He whispers out, but he knows Derek can hear him. Stiles slowly climbs down from the ladder, and tries to make an escape to the backroom. Of course, he isn’t fast enough. Derek corners him between Hemingway and Chopin, and Stiles refuses to look at him.

            “Stiles.” Derek whispers, and it soft, intimate, and Stiles squeezes his eyes shut. He can’t do this. Not now or probably ever. Derek reaches up and run his thumb down the side of Stiles face. Stiles whimpers at the contact. Derek takes a step closer and he growls loudly. “You smell like other wolves. Another Alpha.” He accuses, and Stiles knows if his eyes were open he see that Derek’s eyes are red.

            Stiles wants to tell Derek he has another Alpha, but he can’t bring himself to hurt Derek on purpose. Plus, he has never really considered Daniel his Alpha. “I get around.” Stiles says, and Derek snarls at the thought of someone other than him. Stiles vaguely hears the door chime, and it isn’t until Derek is being dragged from him that he finally opens his eyes.

            “I really don’t like when people bother my pack.” Daniel snarls as he throws Derek across the room. Stiles gasps as Derek lands, but he isn’t down for long.

            “He isn’t your pack!” Derek growls, throwing his arm into Daniel’s throat. Daniel chokes slightly and falls back, but he isn’t down.

            “Really? Because he’s been in my pack for years. Let me guess you’re the asshole Alpha that used him? He’s told me all about you.” Daniel taunts, and Stiles wants to scream that he hasn’t told Daniel anything personal about Derek. Derek roars loudly and prepares to launch himself at Stiles’ current Alpha.

            “Stop!” Stiles yells, and both Alpha’s instantly stop. They both have red eyes, claw extended, and are glaring harsh at each other. “Daniel, this is Derek.” Stiles says, and he hasn’t said Derek’s name since he told his father about everything. It still hurts.

            “I don’t care what his name his. I want to know why he is bothering you.” Daniel says, and Stiles sighs.

            “He just showed up, and he is leaving.” Stiles says, trying to sound firm but only comes off as a wounded puppy.

            “The only way I’m leaving is you come with me.” Derek says, his voice uncharacteristically soft. Daniel snorts, and Stiles flinches. Derek notices and his eyes go back to their usual color. “Please, just talk to me.” Derek begs, and Stiles cringes away.

            Stiles knows he needs to speak with Derek, for his benefit, to move on. He runs his hand over his face, and steals a look at Derek. Derek looks exactly the same except he is tired looking and thinning. “I’m not going back.” Stiles says. He turns to look at Daniel. “I’ll be okay, Daniel.” Stiles promises, but Daniel doesn’t move. Stiles doesn’t know what he was excepting asking an Alpha to leave, but he thought he’d try.

            “I’m not leaving you alone with another Alpha.” Daniel says, and Derek growls loudly.

            “I am his Alpha!” Derek roars, and Stiles gets angry.

            “Daniel, leave. I need to speak with Derek.” Stiles spits, and finally after a several minutes long stare at Derek, Daniel leaves but not before talking to Stiles. He leans in close, causing Derek to snarl, and whispers in his ear.

            “You always had the right to leave me. Just make sure it’s for the right reason.” Daniel says, and it sounds like goodbye. Stiles can help but pull Daniel close to his body to hug him, Derek is breathing heavily and Stiles doesn’t have to smell emotions to know he is angry. Daniel gives Derek a warning look, Stiles a caring one, and leaves. Stiles feels upset until he remembers who else is here with him.  

            Stiles stares at Derek, and his nostrils are flaring in anger. “You have no right to call yourself my Alpha. I’m the human, remember! I’m not pack and I’m not like you!” Stiles yells, and Derek just looks shocked.

            Neither man says anything until Derek wants to speak. “You have no right to yell at me, Stiles. Do you know what these past three years have been like? You left out of nowhere with nothing but a note. A note telling your father not to tell any of us where you were!” Derek growls out, he sounds angry but he sounds more hurt. “You owe me an explanation.” Derek whispers, and Stiles snaps.

            “I don’t owe you shit.” Stiles says, and he turns to begin restacking books. He hasn’t even lifted one of the books before Derek is slamming him against the wall. Stiles winces as his back makes contact with the wall, but he doesn’t say anything.

            “Tell me why you left, please.” Derek begs, Stiles feels the emotions choking him. He can’t do this, not now. He braces his hands on Derek’s arm, and he really shouldn’t have touched Derek. It brings back so many feelings and memories. Just like that Stiles is transported back to a time with he was truly happy.

            “I saw you with her.” Stiles says, his voice breaking. Derek softens his grip, but doesn’t let go and he looks confused until a sudden flash of realization passes across his face.

            “Stiles, it didn’t mean anything.” Derek tries to say, but Stiles just clamps his eyes shut.

            “In your bed. The same bed we had sex in so many times before, and I realized that I meant nothing to you.” Stiles says, wrenching his hands off of Derek like he was burned. Derek makes a pitifully whining sound, and cages Stiles in so he can’t leave.

            “You mean everything to me Stiles Stilinski. You have no idea how hard it was to live without you. You just left.” Derek repeats.

            “How did you find me?” Stiles questions, he can feel tears glistening on his eye lashes.

            “Danny. He hacked into your Dad’s phone and found the message where you sent him your address. I waited until after the holidays. John said you got tattoos, but I didn’t think you went all out.” Derek says, trying to make his tone light. Stiles whines at his own stupidity because he knows he shouldn’t have texted it. “We all miss you.” Derek says, brushing a free hand though Stiles’ hair. Stiles doesn’t know what to do with Derek here and touching him.

            So Stiles laughs.

            He laughs so hard he begins crying. The tears are mixed with sadness, anger, and loss. Derek looks concerned at Stiles, but he gives him a small smile.

            “I hate you so fucking much Derek Hale. You used me, cheated on me, didn’t even claim me, and know you want me tell you everything. Fuck you, Derek. I am done with you.” Stiles says, tears freely falling down his face. Derek’s face softens even at Stiles harsh words, and he brushes the tears away with both hands.

            “You’re lying.” Derek whispers, suddenly to close to Stiles. Stiles shakes his head because maybe he lying but Derek doesn’t need to know that. “You don’t hate me.” Derek says, his voice is smug. Stiles pushes Derek away, wipes his tears away angrily, and tries to run. Derek catches him and once again pins him against the wall only this time its softer.

            “Let me go.” Stiles demands, but Derek just leans in closer. Stiles can feel Derek warm breath against his neck, and it is so familiar.

            “It’s going to take months for you to stop smelling like them.” Derek growls, as he wipes his face against Stiles’ cheek. Stiles closes his eyes at the intimate gesture. Derek has never done that before, but it feels so natural. “I need you, Stiles.” Derek admits, and his voice breaks.

            Stiles feels his heart shatter. “Why didn’t want me?” Stiles asks, and Derek looks at him like he is hurt.

            “When did I ever say I didn’t want you?” Derek demands, still rubbing at Stiles.

            “You never said you wanted me either.” Stiles points out, and Derek stops what he is doing to look at Stiles with soft eyes.

            “I want you, Stiles. I want to make love to you in our bed. In our house, while our pack isn’t in the house. I want to show you how much I want you. I want to make me mine in every sense. Come back with me and I will show you how much you mean to me. I made a mistake with that woman. I am so sorry for everything for making you feel like you didn’t matter to me or the pack because you, Stiles Stilinski, are my whole fucking world. I love you.” Derek tells him before kissing him as passionately, and with as much emotion, as he can.

            Stiles goes back to Beacon Hills the next day.

 


	2. Back to Beacon Hills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles goes back to Beacon Hills after a three year absence.

“It’s not that I’m not happy you’re home, Kiddo, I just think staying in your old room for three straight days isn’t the best way to handle this situation.” John tells his son.

            Stiles is lying face down on his old bed in Beacon Hills where he has been for the last few days. He turns over to see his dad staring at him with a serious expression that is very different from the happy expression he gave Stiles only three days early upon returning home. “I’m not staying here forever. I just want answers from my former pack, and then I’ll go back to Sawyer or somewhere else.” Stiles says, and John sighs.

            “Then go get answers. Scott still works part time at the clinic. Lydia and Jackson moved to London two years after you left, so you won’t find them here. Erica, Boyd, and Isaac still live with Derek.” John tells him, and Stiles groans and rolls over to bury his head into his pillow.

            “I don’t think I really thought this through.” Stiles admits quietly, and John sits on the edge of his bed. John rubs his hand on his back before stopping to look at one of his son’s tattoos.

            “What the hell is this?” John asks, jabbing at one of Stiles’ back tattoos and Stiles doesn’t even have to turn around to see which one he is referring too.

            “A Griffin.” Stiles says, and John makes a huh noise.

            “Those are real?” John questions, and Stiles scoffs.

            “Yeah, it’s how I got those scars right beside the tattoo.” Stiles informs him, and John sighs loudly.

            “I thought you ran a bookstore in Maine?” John asks, and Stiles shrugs.

            “And helped a pack of werewolves with their supernatural shit.” Stiles says, and John only sighs again louder this time.

            “Have you and Derek talked about anything?” John questions. “Because it sounds like you aren’t going to forgive him.” John says, and Stiles sighs.

            “I’ve been avoiding him since I got back. I drove here, and he flew so we didn’t an awkward car ride back.” Stiles admits, and John nods even though his son cannot see him. “I don’t know if I can forgive him just yet, but at the same time I just want to move on with him.” Stiles says, and John pushes him over so he can see his son’s face. Stiles looks like he wants to cry, and John is prepared to hold him while he does.

            “Do you still love Derek, son?” John questions, and Stiles looks at him blankly before answering.

            “I don’t like him very much.” Stiles admits, and John nods. Stiles gets quiet because he really doesn’t want to talk about his this with his dad, but he also knows he needs to because he owns his dad this much.

            “Maybe you should let him explain things.” John says, and Stiles scoffs at his father.

            “Oh, like how he cheated on me. Wait, I guess it wasn’t really technically cheating since we weren’t even official together.” Stiles says, his voice raising before he can stop it. John holds up his hand, and gives him the ‘I am still your father’ look.

            “Yes, those things. Let him explain and then you two can talk it out like adults.” John advises, and Stiles shakes his head.

            “Derek is terrible with words, he’ll try to make it my fault. Then judging by pass experience he’ll try to kiss me to make me change the subject, and I am not going to back to the let’s causally fuck relationship.” Stiles shouts, and John stands off the bed. Stiles is breathing heavy, and he feels a little better now that he has finally vented some.

            “Stiles, when you left everyone changed. Especially Derek. He isn’t the same man from all those years ago.” John tries to explain, and Stiles gapes at him.

            “Who’s side on you on, Dad?” Stiles says, sitting up to look at his father.

            “There are no sides, Stiles!” John yells, and Stiles flinches. “There are two sad, lonely people who both messed up, yes one more than the other, who need to work their problems out because they’ve both put up with too much to give up now.” John yells, and Stiles just looks at him.

            “I did nothing wrong.” Stiles argues, and John sighs.

            “Yes, you did. You left with nothing but a note on your desk.” John retorts, and Stiles chuckles without humor.

            “That makes me a coward not wrong.” Stiles says, and John stares at him.

            “I didn’t see you for almost three years. You missed two of the three Christmas you were gone. Scott and Allison’s wedding. Because you left your friends fell apart. Did you know that Lydia and Jackson blamed everyone for you leaving that they left too.” John says, and Stiles sighs.

            “I hurt you I’m sorry. You know I am, but never once did I tell you to tell them I was dead or anything. They knew I was okay, I just wasn’t here. Plus, if they missed me so much why did they mistreat me and ignore me? Derek wasn’t the only reason I left.” Stiles points out, and John sighs because he knows his son is right.

            “Just try to fix things with your friends before you go back, okay?” John pleads, and Stiles nods because he planned on doing that anyways.

            “I will, Dad. I will make things right with them but I want answers too.” Stiles says, and John nods proud that his son is seeing this through.

****

            Stiles decides to start with Scott and Allison. He figures that they’ll be the most understanding, and willing to explain everything to him. He takes a shower, puts on jeans and a long sleeve shirt, and gets his keys to go to the address his father gave him. He opens the door to walk to his Jeep, but he stops because someone is standing at the door looking like they were just about to knock.

            Erica.

            Stiles just stares at her because she looks exactly the same except her hair is short. She just stares at him until he opens his mouth to say something, and she launches herself into her arms. Stiles is taken back by her forward action, but he hugs her back. Erica sobs loudly, and buries her head into Stiles’ shoulder where he can feel her hot tears falling on his skin. He drags her into the house, and he figures that Scott and Allison will have to wait until later.

            Erica is clinging to him, he almost cannot breath, but she hasn’t said anything yet. Stiles rubs her back, and it feels so good to be hugged by one of his old friends. “Erica.” Stiles says, carefully and Erica only cries harder.

            “I am so sorry we made you leave.” She whispers, and Stiles is stunned. He honestly thought that everyone would assume that it was his fault that he leave, that he was the reason. Stiles isn’t sure what to say because he thought Erica off all people wouldn’t miss him or just be mad at him for leaving. But she is here, crying and asking for forgiveness.

            “I forgive you.” Stiles says, honestly and he knows that she can listen to his heartbeat and believe him. Erica continues clinging to him, and finally she pulls her head from his shoulders to look at him. “I bet you got all of your mascara on my clean shirt.” Stiles jokes, and she cracks a smile.

            “You smell bad.” Erica sniffs, and Stiles gives her a look until he realizes she smells the other pack. “You have another pack.” She states, and she isn’t angry she looks upset. Stiles doesn’t say anything, and Erica just hugs him again.

            “Why, Erica?” Stiles asks, and Erica looks at him with confusion.

            “Why what?” She asks, and Stiles guides her until they are both sitting on the couch.

            “Why did you come here? Why did all of you push me out of the pack all those years ago? Just why?” Stiles whispers, and Erica frowns at him.

            “We weren’t trying to push you out, we were trying to protect you. Stiles, you aren’t a werewolf if you got hurt you could have died!” Erica tells him, and Stiles scoffs.

            “Is that what Derek told you to tell me?” Stiles asks, and Erica looks like he slapped her.

            “Stiles, it’s the truth. We couldn’t have live with ourselves knowing that we caused you to get hurt.” Erica argues, and Stiles understands but that doesn’t stop him from being angry about it.

            “You all hurt me by pushing me away!” Stiles tells her.

            “But did you die?” Erica sasses, and Stiles just gapes at her before blinking slowly. “You hurt all of us by leaving! Everyone was crushed, and we had no idea why you stopped loving us.” Erica says, and Stiles holds his hand up.

            “Not once did I ever tell you that I didn’t love you all. You pushed me away. Erica, you cannot stop me from getting hurt. That’s life.” Stiles tell her, and she nods. She moves as close as she can before just crawling into his lap, and resting her head on his shoulder. Stiles sighs because he really did miss pack cuddles, and he missed Erica more than he let on.

            “Are ever going to talk to Derek again?” Erica asks, and Stiles stiffens. He isn’t sure how much the pack actually knows about him and Derek. Sure, they knew that they were sleeping together, but they didn’t know about everything else.

            “I will soon, Er. I promise.” Stiles says, and Erica sighs.

            “We know about Derek and the other woman.” Erica admits, and Stiles sighs. He knew there was no secrets in packs, but he thought the Alpha would at least have some privacy.

            “How?” He questions.

            “Your dad came bursting into the house a few weeks ago yelling about how it was Derek’s fault you left.” Erica says, and Stiles is surprised but not really. “We’re all pretty pissed off at Derek for the record.” She adds, and Stiles snorts.

            “That’s my girl.” He tells her, and she nods. They both turn their heads towards the door at the sound of a car pulling up, and doors slamming.

            “It’s Scott and Allison.” Erica supplies, scooting off of his lap so that he can answer the door when it rings. Stiles isn’t sure he wants to answer the door. Talking to Erica was hard enough, but this Scott and his wife. Who’s wedding he missed. Erica stretches across the couch looking utterly happy and at home, and Stiles carefully opens the door.

            He isn’t prepared for the hug that his best friend pulls him into, as Allison watches with tears in her eyes. They look exactly the same as they did three years ago, and Stiles laughs in joy as Scott holds him tighter. “You asshole.” Scott says, but he is smiling so wide his face has to hurt.

            “Stiles.” Allison says, and she pulls him into a gentle hug which Stiles returns. “How are you?” She asks, and Stiles wants to laugh at the causal nature of it.

            “I am better.” Stiles says, and it true because the giant whole in his heart is closing slightly. He knows that he still has to deal with Derek, but he now knows why his friends did what they did.

            “We never should have pushed you away, we just wanted what was best for you.” Scott tells him, and Stiles knows he is telling the truth. He also catches the way that Allison and Erica exchange careful smiles, and it makes Stiles wonder when was the last time they were in the same room together.

            “I know.” Stiles tells them, and they all smile at him.

****

            Later that day after Scott, Allison, and Erica leave, very reluctantly and Stiles has to tell them that he isn’t going back at the moment which isn’t what they want to hear but they’ll take it, when the house phone rings.

            “Hello?” Stiles says, he thinks it’s his dad calling from the station or maybe Daniel calling to check in.

            “Stiles.” The voice breathes out relieved, and its Derek. Stiles is surprised because Derek has been giving him the space he needs, and Stiles thinks he is ready to talk.

            “Hey.” Stiles whispers, and he hears Derek exhale. Neither of them say anything for a minute, and Stiles is about to speak again when Derek starts talking.

            “What are you doing right now?” Derek asks, carefully.

            “I’m just at Dad’s. Why?” Stiles asks, and he hears Derek take a deep breath.

            “Would you like to have dinner with me?” Derek asks.

            “Like a date?” Stiles questions, and Derek sputters.

            “Yes, no. Yes, but to talk about everything.” Derek says, quickly. Stiles debates about saying no, but he can handle this.

            “Okay. Where?” Stiles asks, and Derek makes a surprised noise like he wasn’t even sure that Stiles was going to say yes.

            “The Hale house?” Derek asks. Stiles isn’t sure being alone with Derek in house is a good idea, but decides to go with it.

            “Okay.” Stiles says, and he hears Derek sigh in relief. “I’ll be there in an hour.” Stiles tells him, says goodbye, and hangs up.

****

            The familiar drive to Derek’s house is over to quickly, and Stiles sits in his Jeep for about five minutes before going up the door. He debates knocking but he ends up just opening the door and walking in.

            He finds Derek in the kitchen, and Derek looks over his shoulder to smile at him. It is a private smile, that has Stiles giving him one back. Stiles sets down the cookies he made earlier, and he walks into the kitchen. “Hey.” He says, quietly.

            “Hey, let’s talk in the living room.” Derek says, and Stiles nods. Derek sits on the couch, and Stiles sits on the opposite end of him. He isn’t sure what Derek is going to say, or do but he is worried that he has come back to Beacon Hills only to have Derek be the same.

            “Talk.” Stiles says, and Derek nods his head.

            “The woman from three years ago was someone I met in a coffee shop a few days before, and I haven’t seen her since.” Derek starts, and Stiles feels his throat closing. “I haven’t been with anyone else since you left because I didn’t want anyone else, but I also realized that wanting you was one of the reasons you left. I didn’t want to want you, Stiles. I wanted you to be have someone without baggage. Someone who could give you a life without werewolves and danger. A life that you could live normally, and I selfishly kept sleeping with you because I felt that if I could just have you until you found someone better it would be enough.” Derek admits, and Stiles just stares at him. “Yes, I cheated on you. Just because we weren’t officially doesn’t mean anything because I hurt you.” Derek says, and Stiles holds his hand up to stop him.

            “Why did you cheat on me?” Stiles whispers, and Derek runs his hands over his face.

            “I thought that if I slept with someone else I could get rid of the feelings I had for you.” Derek admits, and Stiles just gapes at him.

            “Why? I had the same feelings for you.” Stiles tells him, and Derek stares at him with patience’s.

            “Because you deserve so much more than me, Stiles.” Derek tells him, and Stiles scoffs bitterly at him.

            “You don’t get to decide that for me.” Stiles tells him, and Derek nods. “You’re such a fucking idiot, Derek Hale.” Stiles says.

            “I know, but I also know that I love you. What I said in Maine was true. I am going to do everything I can to show that I love you, and you are so important to me. I want us to work through this and be together. I just want you to be happy even if you don’t want me.” Derek promises, and Stiles just stares at him intensely. “Why are staring at me like that?” Derek asks, worried.

            Stiles scoffs bitterly before speaking. “Because this is not how I imagined this conversation going. I imagined me trying to get answers out of you while you stared at your feet. I imagined me not getting said answers, and leaving.” Stiles says, and Derek bites his lip.

            “You think I don’t communicate with you enough.” Derek says, and Stiles just gives him a look because he does but he isn’t sure why Derek is saying it. “So I’m trying to be better for you.” Derek explains, and Stiles just buries his face in his hands.

            “Okay.” Stiles says, and Derek just stares at him.

            “Okay?” Derek questions scooting closer to Stiles. Stiles looks at him before speaking.

            “Okay as in okay. Okay that I am willing to try to make things work under the circumstances that we are dating. That means you can’t keep me out of the dangerous part of your life just because you want me to be safe.” Stiles says, and Derek nods his head.

            “I promise, Stiles.” Derek says, and Stiles leans his head until it is laying on Derek’s shoulder. Derek easies his arms around Stiles, and kisses the top of his forehead. “Can I still tell you I love you?” Derek asks, and Stiles snorts.

            “Obviously.” Stiles says, and Derek sighs in happiness.

            “Did you ever stop loving me?” Derek asks, and Stiles looks up at him.

            “Derek, I have loved you for a long time. That made it hurt worse when you cheated on me, but it also makes it easier to forgive you. I never stopped loving you, I just didn’t like what you did or how it made me feel.” Stiles explains, and Derek leans forward to kiss him. It is nice and gentle, and Stiles has missed it.

            “I love you.” Derek whispers, and Stiles smiles softly at him.

****

            Stiles has to make one last trip to Maine to get his stuff, and he lets Derek come with him. He has to promise the pack that he is coming back, and when they see Derek going with him they relax. He calls Lydia, and after a six hour conversation involving both of them crying, Jackson pretending he isn’t happy to hear from Stiles, and Stiles explaining that he is in the process of working things out with Derek, she promises to visit the pack in a few weeks.

            Isaac takes his return well, and Stiles has to let him stay with him at his dad’s for a few days because Isaac refused to go back to Derek’s until he sends some time with Stiles. Boyd tells him he is glad is back which coming from Boyd is practically an ‘I love you.’

            Stiles gets to introduce Derek to Ms. Goldski who threatens him with a whisk, and Stiles has never laughed so hard because Derek looked genuinely afraid of the old woman. They walk into Stiles’ old apartment, he is going to be staying with his father until he can find one of his own in Beacon Hills, and they find Daniel on his couch.

            “Oh, you’re back?” Daniel says, but he sees the boxes and he knows Stiles is just closing his loose ends. Derek glares at him while he packs some of Stiles clothes.

            “Don’t antagonize him, Dan, or you can’t come visit us.” Stiles threatens, and Daniel laughs.

            “Can’t miss the opportunity to annoy him in his own home.” Daniel says, and Stiles laughs at Derek’s grimace. Daniel shows his self out, and Derek and Stiles slowly pack things up.

            It takes longer than expect, and soon they are both laying on a blanket on the blank living room floor while holding hands. “You want to just sleep here, and drive back tomorrow?” Derek asks, but Stiles is already asleep with the hand not holding his clutching Derek’s shirt. Derek smiles, kisses his cheek, and dozes off next to Stiles.

            Stiles and Derek go back to Beacon Hills the next day.


End file.
